I haven't posted in awhile.

So weird.

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I’m a HUGE fan of a photographer, Jasmine Star. I think I’ve mentioned her once or twice on my blog and when I talk about her with my husband I refer to her as “My American Idol.” He doesn’t like it when I say that, though, cuz he gets confused and thinks she was really on American Idol. She wasn’t. She’s just a really amazing photographer and has gained in popularity in a short period of time. Not that I am eager to gain popularity in this sea of photographers that are out there, I really just want to gain a living doing something that I LOVE not something that I LOATH. I’ve read through J*s old blog entries before but they seem to take on a new meaning the more I learn about photography and the more I learn about the players in the industry.
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I had a hard weekend of feeling like I’m not good enough and who do I think I am that I can go out and buy a camera and be a photographer just because J* did it. So I started browsing through entries on Craigslist for something that would be a more creative job just to get out of what I’m currently doing. Something preferably to do with photography but maybe something with photoshop or some other leg of photography just to get one step closer to my goal of what I want to be when I grow up (I never thought I wouldn’t feel grown up at 26 but I still feel the same as I did at 18, I don’t know if this Peter Pan Syndrome is good or bad or if it will ever go away. I digress…). There are never any good Craigslist postings for Ventura County so I started perusing Los Angeles County. I’m willing to drive in the horrendous traffic if it means doing something that will fill my soul and not keep draining it. I found a couple of listings that sounded interesting but of course they don’t pay anything near what I’m currently making at my job but again another sacrifice I’d be willing to make in order to be happy throughout most of everyday. There was one listing to work for a photographer that I hadn’t heard of but he looked like kind of a big deal. So when I started going back through J*s entries today to map out EXACTLY the route she took to get where she got so quickly I noticed that one of her first entries ever on her first blog was a meeting she had with the same EXACT photographer. In the scheme of life I guess it’s not that crazy considering I didn’t actually send in my resume or otherwise contact this guy to try and work for him. But the message in her entry was “I got something better: The belief that I will succeed. And I won’t succeed by being someone’s apprentice, but, rather, I’ll do it my way.” The message just seems so much stronger since I was thinking about bowing down and just being someone’s apprentice AND I was thinking of being the apprentice of the guy that helped her come to that realization! And now she’s helped me come to the realization: I’ll do it my way!!! It’s perfect for me too because doing things my way has always been my favorite way. ;)
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Okay I’ll stop now. On to other news. My logo is not here yet. Still working on it. I was talking with a friend about it today and I showed her the options and she stopped and said “Whoa that one looks like FedEx. It says: We’ll get you your photos on time!” Made me laugh :)