BUG

The other day my niece sent me a text message with the picture above and this message: “Downside to working in a plant nursery. I don’t know what I’m going to do with this thing!” This was the conversation that ensued:

Me: Ew!!! What is it? It looks like a scorpion. I would call the army.

Her: Haha. I don’t know what it is. It’s got wings and it keeps shakin that little tail on his butt. It LOOKS like something out of a steven king movie.

Me: Agreed. I think this might be the apocalypse.

Her: That would explain the weather. I’m waiting for the locusts.

Me: Maybe that’s what that thing is! Run!

Her: Hahaha. I’m keeping my eye on him. One quick movement and I quit.

Me: Sounds completely reasonable to me.

Her: I just went and got backup. Problem solved.

Her: BTW I had to physically remove a butterfly the other day.

Me: Butterflies are harmless, why not let it be?

Her: In my office? No way. Anyway I think they’re poisonous.

Me: No way butterflies aren’t poisonous.

Her: Have you ever been bitten by one? Then you don’t know!

Me: You’ve been bitten by a butterfly?!

Her: No. I probably wouldn’t be alive right now if I had.

Me: “No butterflies are so poisonous that they kill people or large animals.”

Her: You can’t make stuff like that up, Miss Animal Planet…this isn’t Wikipedia.

Me: Ha! I went to Children’s Butterfly Site!

Her: Yeah yeah. My mom seems to think that bug had rights and that he should’ve been named and gotten a desk and a computer. Psh.

Me: Not sure about all that but I’ve been known to cry while smashing spiders.

Her: Out of fear or pity?

Me: 80% pity. 20% fear. They only thing they really do to justify their dying is scare the shit out of me.

Her: For which they MUST die. You should get a gmail account. Then we could talk all the time!

Me: Your gmail account is too good to talk to my yahoo account?

It went on for about another 20 minutes from there on whose account is better.