Thursday, May 22, 2008


You may or may not already know that I have subjected myself to the incredibly torturous event of taking a 12-week yoga teacher training program. You may ask yourself “why, why would you do that?” My answer originally would have been “because I love yoga and I want to share it with everyone I meet.” Now my answer looks a little bit more like this “because I hate myself, I hate free time, and I love physical, mental, and emotional anguish.” I’m currently working on one-third of the final. Yes, one-third, because it’s a three part final. For Yoga. The first part is a take home exam. The second part is an in class exam. And the third part is teaching one pose to the entire class. In preparation for part three, we are having practice poses that we are teaching to the entire class, then the TA criticizes, I mean critiques, us. Well, I’m not a very good yoga teacher and after 10 weeks of the program I had pretty much already figured it out but after the practice session I just know it for sure now. Which is awesome, because I know that I am not deluded, but rather, that which I think of myself, others also think! Bonus. It really wasn’t as bad as I’m making it out to be. I just got pissed off because I did a fairly good job, and I was the first to go, and I got my entire script out of the manual that they provided for us. The pose I had to instruct was “Cat/Cow” or “Cat’s Breath” Where you go back and forth between these two actions and you move along with your breath:

I started the class on an inhale, that’s how I usually start breathing and that’s also how the manual explained the pose “inhale this, exhale that, inhale do this, exhale to that” so that’s how I taught it. Then I said “curl your chin to your chest.” But obviously that’s wrong even though THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE MANUAL SAID! And lastly, when they were done Cat/Cowing I had them rest on the floor. She thought I said “lift your forehead from the floor” I didn’t say LIFT I said REST. REST! Finally my friends in the front stood up for me and were like “she said rest, this I know.”

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